Rolan Bykov began keeping diaries at the age of 15 and continued until his death. The reader will see the unfolding story of a nation, of theatre and film, but most of all, the story of a unique individual, ingenious director ('Aibolit-66,' 'Telegram') and actor (;The Overcoat,' 'Andrei Rublev,' ;The Dead Season'). This book is striking for its candor. 'Violent Rolan,' as his friends called him, wrote notes for himself, not thinking of censorship, not about their future publication. The reader will experience natural passion, whether about art or personal relationships. The phrase 'I'm defeated, I'll start over' was Rolan's motto his whole life. There are rare photographs included from his family's archive.